The Only Story | Flipped Learning Activity
Hello everyone,
This blog is part of a flipped learning activity assigned by Prof. Dr. Dilip Barad. This activity is part of the study of the contemporary novel "The Only Story" by Julian Barnes.
1st Video: Introduction | Character | Plot Summary:
In this video, we can find an introduction to the novel “The Only Story” by Julian Barnes, along with an exploration of its characters, plot, timeline of the narration, and narrative pattern. This novel, published in 2018, is a deeply reflective work that delves into themes of love, memory, suffering, and the irreversible passage of time. It is divided into three parts and begins with a classical definition of the novel, as given by Dr. Samuel Johnson in his 1755 “Dictionary of the English Language”, where he defines a novel as “a small tale, generally of love.” This definition sets the tone for what follows a love story, but one that is far from traditional or idealized.
The story revolves around Paul Roberts, a nineteen-year-old boy, and Susan Macleod, a forty-eight-year-old woman trapped in an unhappy marriage. The novel is narrated from the perspective of an older Paul, who looks back on his past and recalls what he considers his “only story” of love. Paul meets Susan at a country tennis club, where they are randomly paired for a mixed doubles match. From that point on, they begin spending more time together, and what starts as a casual friendship soon deepens into an intense love affair. Despite the significant age gap and the fact that Susan is married to Gordon Macleod, Paul and Susan defy societal norms and move in together in London.
However, their love story takes a darker turn as Susan’s life begins to unravel. Over time, she becomes increasingly dependent on alcohol, and her behavior becomes erratic. Paul, who once saw their relationship as an escape from the dull conventions of society, begins to feel trapped in the very thing he once cherished. As he matures into his mid-thirties, he starts distancing himself from Susan, unable to cope with her self-destructive tendencies. Eventually, he moves abroad in search of a new life, leaving Susan in the care of her daughter, Martha. As the years pass, Susan succumbs to dementia, and her condition worsens. Paul, though once devoted to her, no longer feels the same attachment. The final scene of the novel captures this emotional detachment vividly Paul attends Susan at asylum, but instead of being sad at her worse condition, his mind is preoccupied with something as trivial as his empty petrol tank.
The novel follows a non-linear timeline, shifting between Paul’s present reflections as an older man and his memories of the past. This retrospective narrative style creates a sense of nostalgia and regret, emphasizing how time alters one’s perception of love and relationships. The story does not simply recount a romance; it poses a deeper, philosophical question:
“Would you rather love more,
and suffer more; or love less, and suffer less?
That is, I think, finally, the only real question.”
This question lingers throughout the novel, as Paul’s journey reveals that with great love comes great pain. In many ways, The Only Story is less about love itself and more about its consequences, the emotional toll it takes, the suffering it brings, and the ways in which people change as a result of it.
By the end of the novel, Paul is no longer the passionate nineteen-year-old who defied convention for love. He has become someone who observes his past from a distance, analyzing it rather than feeling it. Through its reflective and melancholic tone, “The Only Story” challenges the reader to consider whether love is worth the suffering it inevitably brings.
Video:2 : Narrative Pattern
In this video, we take a look at the narrative structure of Julian Barnes’ "The Only Story". The story follows a classical framework, but Barnes also mixes in postmodern elements. The protagonist, Paul Roberts, is an unreliable narrator, and the novel uses a mix of first, second, and third-person narration. This blend highlights the subjective nature of memory and history, showing how personal recollections can be fluid and unreliable.
From the very beginning of the novel, Paul’s philosophical musings reveal a key contradiction.
He says, “Most of us have only one story to tell. I don’t mean that only one thing happens to us in our lives: there are countless events, which we turn into countless stories. But there’s only one that matters, only one finally worth telling. This is mine.”
On one hand, he claims that everyone has one important story to tell, yet in the same breath, he acknowledges that there are countless other stories. This contradiction reflects the tension in the novel between certainty and uncertainty, truth and perception.
Paul’s narrative also reveals how we often tell stories in which we position ourselves as the hero. In his retelling of his love story, it’s possible that Paul presents only one side of the story, and the true reality could be very different.
He asks, “Would you rather love the more, and suffer the more; or love the less, and suffer the less? That is, I think, finally, the only real question.” Here, Paul points out the futility of trying to control how much we love.
He goes on to say, “Because we don’t have the choice. If we had the choice, then there would be a question. But we don’t, so there isn’t. Who can control how much they love? If you can control it, then it isn’t love. I don’t know what you call it instead, but it isn’t love.”
This shows how love, like memory, is uncontrollable and unpredictable, and it plays into the larger theme of the novel that both love and memory can often bring pain and suffering.
Another interesting aspect of the narrative is Paul’s claim early on that he isn’t keeping a diary, only to later admit that he actually is. This act of keeping a diary complicates the narrative, as it adds another layer of subjectivity. The story unfolds through flashbacks, with Paul looking back at his past. This creates distance between the events and how he remembers them, showing how our memories are often shaped by time and emotion.
At the end of the video, there’s a comparison between Thomas Hardy and Julian Barnes. While Hardy tells a story and weaves in philosophical reflections, Barnes offers fragments of a story, with a focus on philosophical musings rather than a fully formed narrative. This method invites us to reflect more deeply on the nature of love, memory, and storytelling. Barnes doesn’t just tell a story; he makes us think about how we tell our own stories and how our memories shape the lives we live.
Video 3: Theme of Love | Passion and Suffering :
In this video, we can see a detailed exploration of the themes of love, passion, and suffering, especially through the relationship between Paul and Susan. At 19, Paul views love in a very naive way, mostly linking it to sexual gratification. He doesn’t yet understand the deeper responsibilities that love brings. Love in the novel is shown to be strongly connected to "passion" and "suffering", which is linked to the Latin root of the word "passion" (patior), meaning "to suffer." While this meaning is not commonly used today, the novel shows how love transforms into passion, and eventually leads to suffering for Paul, Susan, and their families.
A powerful quote is: "Man's love is of man's life a thing apart, 'Tis women's whole existence." "Barnes uses this to critique traditional views of love. It shows how Susan, who falls in love with Paul, makes him her third partner, while Paul, despite his deep love for Susan, never marries anyone else. His life is consumed by his love for her, filled with guilt and regret.
From a "Lacanian" perspective, love is often driven by unfulfilled desires. People look for love objects, whether other people, things, or even abstract ideas, to fill a void in their lives. This is clear in Susan’s marriage to Gordon, where she doesn’t find love or sexual satisfaction, but instead finds both in her love for Paul.
Love also comes with responsibilities, which Paul repeatedly fails to meet. For example, he is unable to protect Susan from Gordon’s abuse and doesn’t confront him. Instead, Paul flees the Macleod household. Later, when he sees Eric being attacked in the street, Paul doesn’t step in, and he later sees himself as a coward. As Susan grows older and is unable to care for herself, Paul again avoids his responsibility by leaving her care to her daughter, Martha, instead of looking after her himself.
Through this narrative, Barnes critiques the idealized portrayal of love often seen in literature and film. Instead of showing love as perfect and blissful, the novel shows that love can lead to regret, emotional pain, and sorrow. Through Paul’s reflections, we see how his understanding of love and suffering changes over time. It challenges the idea that love is always beautiful and raises the question: "Is love worth the suffering?" This question encourages us to think about our own experiences with love and loss and whether love, with all its complexity and heartache, is truly worth it.
Video 4: Memory in the novel:
In this video, we can find a discussion on the connection between ''memory'', ''trauma'', and ''morality'', using 'The Only Story' by Julian Barnes and the film 'Memento' as key examples. The video covers four main points:
> Trauma is memory
> Imperfection of memory
> Memory priority
> Memory and morality
It begins by comparing ''communal history'' to ''personal memory'', showing that while history is shaped by collective narratives, ''personal memory is subjective'' and often distorted by emotions and biases. The quote ''"History is collective memory; memory is personal history"'' emphasizes how our individual memories can be affected by personal experiences. The video raises an interesting question from 'Memento': "If memory is taken away, does moral responsibility disappear?" In the film, the protagonist forgets everything every 15 minutes, suggesting that ''losing memory might lead to losing accountability'' for one’s actions.
The discussion then shifts to 'The Only Story', where Paul’s ''narration is unreliable'' due to his guilt, and he ''reconstructs his memories'' to avoid facing his failings. The concept of ''subalternity'' is also touched on, explaining that everyone has a ''significant story they cannot share''. For Paul, his love story is one he can’t fully reveal because he sees himself as the ''villain''. His ''cowardice'' is shown in his failure to stand up for his friend ''Eric'', revealing his reluctance to confront his own mistakes.
The video also explores how ''memory, trauma, and morality'' are linked, suggesting that people often distort or forget memories when dealing with trauma. It refers to ''Dipesh Chakrabarty’s'' work, highlighting how ''personal histories'' can shape one’s identity and moral responsibility. Finally, 'Memento' is used to illustrate how ''memory loss complicates moral accountability'', suggesting that forgetting can be a way to avoid facing the consequences of actions. we can also find how ''memory'' is not just about recalling past events, but also about how we ''shape and sometimes forget'' parts of our past, which affects both our ''moral responsibility'' and ''sense of self''.
Video 5: Joan: Character Study:
In this video, the discussion is around Joan , a confident and strong-willed character who naturally takes charge in her relationships, especially with Susan. She is “the surviving sister of Gerald, Susan’s first husband who died of leukemia.” Her self-assurance is clear in her casual authority and humorous banter, which reinforces her position in the social group.
She has a practical side, particularly when it comes to managing money. She is careful with expenses and “takes an interest in calculating fuel costs,” showing both intelligence and a thoughtful approach to spending. She never married and spent much of her life caring for her family, shaping a self-sufficient and somewhat eccentric lifestyle. She enjoys “small pleasures like gin and cigarettes,” but stays mindful of her habits and choices.
She resists change, especially when it affects her comfort. She dismisses walking despite its benefits, reflecting her “desire to maintain comfort and control over her life.” She knows what she wants and sees no need to adjust for the sake of others. She doesn’t conform to expectations and stays true to herself.
She has a deep connection with animals, especially dogs. The story highlights how “the emotional holes left by human connections can be filled by non-human companions.” Her love for her pets suggests that she finds comfort in relationships free from emotional complications. Keeping dogs “is indicative of a need for connection unencumbered by expectations or past traumas.”
Her relationship choices challenge traditional ideas. She is involved with a married man, raising questions about morality and social norms. The story suggests that “human desires frequently clash with social norms,” making her a complex figure. She is not simply following a path set by society but making her own choices.
As she grows older, her experience stands in contrast to Susan’s. While Susan struggles with mental illness, Joan “accepts her age and finds solace in her rituals.” This contrast highlights different ways of coping with life’s difficulties. Susan’s suffering defines her later years, while Joan holds onto her independence and sense of control.
She combines “authority, wit, and practicality in a unique way.” Her life, relationships, and choices make her a fascinating character. Her story reflects the complexities of human nature, emotional resilience, and the need for connection in different forms.
Video 6: Two Ways to Look at Life:
In this video, we can find two extreme ways of looking at life, with many views in between.
The first way sees life as being the captain of a ship. Every decision, whether big or small, determines the direction of life, just like a captain steering a paddle steamer down a river. This idea is all about free will and personal control. It suggests that we shape our own destinies through our choices. The video even says, "Every decision one makes destroys the possibility of subsequent acts," meaning that every choice we make closes off other options. Because of this, people often struggle with regret, thinking, What if I had chosen differently?
The second way is completely different, it sees life as a bump on a log. No matter what choices we think we are making, we are actually just being carried along by forces beyond our control, like a log floating down the Mississippi River. This perspective suggests that life is shaped by fate and external circumstances rather than personal effort. The video explains this by saying that people are “pushed and pulled by the forces of circumstance and fate.” Paul, the narrator, sometimes feels this way, as if life is just happening to him, no matter what he does.
Throughout the story, Paul moves between these two perspectives. Sometimes he feels in control, making choices that define his future. Other times, he feels powerless, as if life is leading him instead of the other way around. This back and forth between control and fate is something many people experience. The video makes us realize that life isn’t completely one way or the other, it is often a mix of both. Sometimes we feel like captains, steering our own path, and at other times, we feel like we’re just drifting with the current.
Video 7: Question of Responsibility :
In this video, the discussion is around the theme of responsibility in The Only Story by Julian Barnes. It explores whether responsibility is something we fully control or if it is shaped by larger forces around us. The narrator, Paul Roberts, constantly questions this. He wonders if his mistakes are truly his fault or if circumstances and other people, like Gordon, played a bigger role in what happened.
One of the key ideas is explained through the metaphor of a chain. Each person or event is like a link in a chain. If one link breaks, the whole chain can fall apart, just like relationships do when one part is damaged. But the important question is: Did the link break because it was weak, or was it simply overwhelmed by too much pressure? This challenges the way we think about blame. Instead of blaming just one person, like Gordon for his domestic violence, the idea is to look at the entire chain of events and understand that responsibility is often shared.
Paul struggles with this idea. He finds it easier to blame others rather than admit his own faults. But true self-reflection means acknowledging one’s own role in a failed relationship, not just blaming circumstances or other people.
The discussion also highlights how society shapes our understanding of responsibility. People often ignore problems like domestic violence, because they fear social judgment. This makes it harder to see responsibility clearly in complex situations.
Another powerful metaphor used is the snake navigating obstacles. It represents the need for flexibility. Just as a snake finds ways to move past barriers, people must adapt in relationships. Without this adaptability, mistakes can repeat, leading to further problems.
Responsibility is not just about personal choices; it’s also about recognizing the bigger picture. Paul’s story encourages us to reflect do we take responsibility for our actions, or do we find it easier to blame others? The novel doesn’t give a simple answer, but it makes us think deeply about how responsibility works in our own lives.
Video 8: Theme of Marriage | Critique of Marriage Institution :
In this video, we can find out the discussion on the theme of marriage and how the novel critiques the institution. The novel presents marriage as a flawed and often oppressive arrangement rather than a natural or inevitable part of life. A key quote in the discussion states, "A true believer in love must be against marriage," suggesting that love and marriage are inherently contradictory. This idea challenges traditional beliefs that view marriage as the ultimate culmination of love, much like birth and death are inevitable life events. Instead, the novel argues that marriage can destroy the purity of love, leading to discontent and suffering.
Marriage is metaphorically compared to a jewelry box that turns gold into worthless metal and a broken boat that can no longer sail. These images symbolize how marriage, over time, loses its charm and becomes more about societal obligations than genuine affection. As the novel illustrates, many middle-class couples remain trapped in unhappy marriages, suffering in silence. The story highlights the struggles of characters like Suzanne and Gordon, who experience emotional neglect and domestic abuse. This reflects a larger societal issue—how people often endure marital dissatisfaction without seeking help due to cultural and social stigmas.
The novel’s critique of marriage aligns with a long literary tradition questioning its sanctity. Thomas Hardy’s Jude the Obscure similarly portrays marriage as a restrictive institution that suffocates individual desires. Unlike in Hardy’s time, however, modern society offers alternatives such as live-in relationships and divorce, allowing people greater freedom in choosing their partnerships. The discussion suggests that these alternatives reduce the pressure to remain in unhappy unions, challenging the outdated notion that marriage guarantees happiness.
Through its blend of humor and deep social critique, the novel highlights the absurdities within the institution of marriage. It does not offer a direct moral lesson but instead invites readers to question whether marriage is truly a necessary component of a fulfilling life. As the discussion concludes, it encourages us to rethink our assumptions about love, commitment, and the cultural expectations surrounding relationships.
Thank you so much 😊
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